Are you ready?

Ask yourself good questions before looking for your future wife in Russia or Ukraine.
by Marina Fedorova

This page will of course (once again) cause many other international dating and marriage agencies to cringe, but I will be faithful to my motto: sincerity, frankness and honesty!

The questionnaire below is not like any of the ones you're used to see on most dating sites. There aren’t any questions like "smoking: yes / no" or "want children: yes / no.” Instead you will find the questions that you must really ask yourself if you want to succeed in your relationship with a Russian woman or Ukrainian girl.

I have divided the questionnaire into several phases corresponding to different stages of your search.

First part: contact

1) Do you really want to rearrange your life?

The main difference between a romantic "long distance" relationship with a Slavic woman and a simple "local" relationship  is that you do not have the same time to test your relationship before making the plunge. Russian & Ukrainian women presented in my dating agency have long thought about making the difficult choice to marry a foreigner and are ready to make a crucial decision in a limited time. Will you be able to make "the" decision in a relatively short time? Will you be frightened by the importance of the event? Will you assume the responsibilities of the relationship? Only you know the answers.

2) What should her education level be?

If you want to meet someone with a good level of education who is ambitious and wants to work in your country: you'll have to be ready to help her and support.

3) Should she speak English ?

Do not believe what many dating agencies say: very few Russian women speak English, and only a small percentage is fluent in English. It is very likely that the woman you meet will not speak your language. Fortunately Eastern European women learn English relatively easily. But you will have to be patient during your first discussions.

During your correspondence before the first meeting, you will have to translate your letters and those of the girl: the cost of translations is quite high. Remember to plan a large budget if your dating agency does not include the costs of translation in your membership.

You will need to learn about opportunities in your city at different English language learning institutions in order to register your future wife in a school.

4) Do you want to marry a Slavic woman with children?

If so, in order to avoid a difficult situation, determine at the start of the relationship if the child's father is willing to give his child the permission to leave the country (required official paperwork).

Are you really willing to adopt the child of your future wife and treat it with respect and consideration? Are you sure you can financially support them both?

5) Do you want to have children with your Russian wife soon after marriage?

The vast majority of Russian women arriving in the west do not want to have children because they want to first integrate into local society and familiarize themselves in a country they find strange. They will want to discover the language, culture, and lifestyle. Expect a period of about a year and half before considering having a child with her. Of course there are some Russian or Ukrainian women who want to have a child upon arrival in the west, but they are few in number. Will you have the patience to wait?

6) Are you looking for a much younger Slavic girl you (15-year+ age difference)

According to the majority of dating agencies wishing to please gentlemen over 40, Russian or Ukrainian women prefer to marry men 15, 20 or even 30 years older! Sorry gentlemen, but Russian & Ukrainian women prefer Bradley Cooper to Sean Connery!! If you really want to get ripped off then by all means, contact beautiful girls from Eastern Europe who are 20 years (or more) younger than you.

My advice: Be realistic and avoid contacting people much younger than you, unless you are looking for a girl not a woman.

7) Do you give enough importance to the interests of your correspondent from Eastern Europe?

At the beginning of your relationship only love will count but over the months she’ll wish to devote more time to her hobbies. You both have unique goals in life and interests and hobbies. It is important after discovering common passions that you both continue to allow time for your separate hobbies, which is why it is important for you to already have common hobbies before meeting. The most unpleasant aspects of a relationship are misunderstanding and boredom.

Part Two: the meeting with your Russian or Ukrainian lady

1) Are you ready to make a long journey to visit your correspondent in Russia or Ukraine?

Do not forget that Russia is the largest country in the world and it is sometimes difficult to get some areas (very slow trains, no roads etc ...). If you are reluctant to make a long journey in potentially uncomfortable conditions, avoid contacting a woman who lives in a city with an inadequate public transit system.

2) Can you afford the travel expenses necessary to travel and see your correspondent?

Few men realize the amount of money necessary for building a relationship with a Slavic woman: travel, administrative costs, dating agency fee etc. ... A sum of between 6,000 and 8,000 euros is a low average spent between the time you decide to contact a Russian woman to the point of marriage.

3) Can I take a longer vacation than usual?

You cannot get acquainted in five days. You will need to spend many weeks or months together in her country and yours before making an important decision.

My advice: go visit her in her country for 2 weeks, and then invite her to your country for 2 or 3 months. During this time you can resume your normal schedule so she can get used to her new lifestyle and meet your family and friends. After that you will have a good idea of how you feel in your relationship and she will know what it's like to live in your country. 

Part Three: after marriage

1) Will you help her find a job or go to school?

It is very important for Russian & Ukrainian women, once they are living in a foreign country, to feel useful. Slavic women hate being inactive, and they love to work. Do not expect them to stay home to clean (see "myths and fact"): if this is what you are looking for you should instead use a service to find a cleaning lady!!

2) Will you help your future wife to visit her family at least once a year in Eastern Europe?

Your future Slavic wife will want to regularly visit her family: a Russian woman is certainly willing to make sacrifices to find the man of her dreams in another country, but there are limits to her sacrifices. For the majority of these women, the idea of seeing family and friends only once every 3 or 4 years will be simply appear unbearable for her.

Prepare yourself to help your future wife to return regularly (once a year) to her country so she can visit her relatives for a period of 3 to 5 weeks.

3) Will you help her to regularly communicate with her family and friends when she lives with you?

Having regular contact with her family and friends will be crucial to your beloved. Keep in mind that she must leave everything behind, and she only knows you in a whole new country. Of course she will be in contact with your family and your friends, but she will also need to communicate regularly with her family. Choose a telephone company with low prices, buy a computer with an Internet connection if you do not have one, and get a satellite tv. In this way she will also have access to Russian media: tv, radio, online newspapers, forums etc ... she will feel less "homesick" (see "myths and facts" page).

4) Have you asked your Russian or Ukrainian bride if she prefers to live in a large city or a little village?

Russian women are often cosmopolitan, and because of the living conditions in most of the Eastern European villages (where there are very few distractions, few local shops, no TV reception, a very low standard of living, high levels of pollution etc) ... they have a very bad image of the villages in general.

My advice if you live in a village:

A) Avoid contacting women from Moscow or St. Petersburg, where the dating agencies are numerous. Western men often contact girls living in these cities during the "giant meetings" organized by the Russian marriage agencies. Unmarried girls of these cities have become very selective and in no way wish to live in a village.

B) Describe all the advantages of your town, send her pictures of where you live from the springtime (or another beautiful time of year), when there are a lot of flowers, with perhaps a lake, explain to her that you have easy access to various forms of entertainment such as theaters, restaurants etc ... talk to her about the weather in your village, briefly describe to her everything you like about your village.

C) Your future Russian wife will feel less dependent on you and be able to move more freely if she has a driving license. 

Conclusion

Knowing each other’s expectations from the beginning of the relationship will provide the basis for success. Ask yourself what you want from your Russian or Ukrainian bride and ask her what she expects from you. Talk to her at length to see if your ambitions and your goals in life match up. Without these preparations, you risk a failed marriage. You have to work hard on psychological preparation for your future relationship if you want to succeed: do not forget that if you fail to prepare you are preparing to fail!